Broken and Beautiful

I remember the time I worked endlessly on this piece. I felt broken and so alone. But then I saw this image perfectly in my mind. I worked and worked till I saw it before my eyes. While I worked I understood a solid message that’s now staying with me through thick and thin.
I remember the space & span of time, and then the pain. Oh, the pain. More real than the image in my mind. You know.. just one of those times you felt helplessly alone. Time frozen. You can’t get out, it’s to thick. The dark is a darker place than the deadest night. This pain was lasting longer than you could physically mentally emotionally or spiritually endure.. -truly, some pain is to painful to describe in humanly words.
It was hours, even days later, weeks, months...years. . . but finally, all at once a beautiful calm flood of paralyzing realization came, you made it. There was no way. You know it. No way of denying it. Not, alone. It’s in these moments where peace and light is shed upon me where I know, with all I am, that I am not alone, no never. Some way somehow.. I look back and see this beautiful girl that gracefully made it, each and every time. Each time, I learned things with my heart that my eyes couldn’t see.
You know how we repeatedly hear, or maybe it’s just in my thoughts, Heavenly Father never gives us anything in life we aren’t strong enough to make it through? When I plead with all the energy in my heart mind soul and being for him to take away my bitter cup... this is the image that comes to mind. I know he sends my family on the other side of the veil, I know he sends angels. I know, I am never, alone. It’s so beautiful.